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But He Says He Loves Me: How to Avoid Being Trapped in a by Dina L. McMillan PhD

By Dina L. McMillan PhD

Effective and robust, this chilling publicity of the psychology in the back of emotionally abusive relationships proves to be a useful source for girls within the relationship pool or these wondering their present partnership. determining the characteristics, traps, and manipulations that abusers hire, this authoritative guide aids readers in spotting purple flags early on, letting them get out early and stay away from extra ensnarement. using a dynamic new strategy, the point-of-view splits providing an entire view of the situation—with the right-hand pages delivering recommendation and the way to let girls to acknowledge damaging styles, whereas the left-hand pages use the alarming voice of an abuser giving suggestion to different males on how you can take regulate of a lady via lies, finance, accusations, settling on her neighbors, and extra. Counselors, cops, attorneys, and anxious household also will reap the benefits of this important information.

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Additional info for But He Says He Loves Me: How to Avoid Being Trapped in a Manipulative Relationship

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Indd 46 8/2/07 8:07:42 AM 2 Focused Manipulation It would be easy to assume that abusers get all of their information from trial and error—they figure out what works and just keep doing it. This is usually true, but you may be surprised how many abusers also spend time and energy researching their ‘craft’. Many of the abusers I interviewed and counselled have read the full range of self-help books that tell them how to be more effective in getting their way. Starting with books like How to Win Friends and Influence People,3 they keep up on all of the latest works on leadership, influence, coercive persuasion and hypno-persuasion.

Also, her relationship with you will be her sole means for staying in the country. If she does not want to return to her native land she has to comply. indd 24 8/2/07 8:07:39 AM But He Says He Loves Me • Women are often held accountable to a much stricter set of rules, with harsher punishments for violating them, than are men. Women learn to expect a double standard, especially where morals (sex) and the amount of effort made toward the family are concerned. • Rules for courtship make it more difficult for women to get to know their partners before committing to them.

He does this by flattering you, humouring you, or asking about something that excites you. Or maybe he just pressures you. So you stay and the interaction continues. Especially at the beginning, he may let you keep talking until you run out of things to say. indd 43 8/2/07 8:07:41 AM The Abuser’s Handbook each interaction lasts as long as possible (sometimes called ‘marathoning’). Keep her focused on you and she will soon see you as the centre of her universe. Be responsive and listen more than you speak.

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